Saturday, 12 April 2014

Miley Cyrus, Tyler Bozak and the Real Reason the Leafs Missed the Playoffs...Again!

I've been a Leaf fan for as long as I can remember. And it sucks sometimes.

Borje Salming
But we've had some great players that I remain a fan of to this day. My favorite still is Borje Salming, the trailblazer that proved Swedes are more than tough enough to play in the NHL. A very close second is Saskatchewan farm boy Wendel Clark. Rounding out my top 5 all-time are Doug Gilmour (no matter who your team is, you can't not like Dougie), Lanny Mcdonald (the moustache) and Darryl Sittler (NHL record 10 points in one game). These 5 players represent the only two brief periods of time since that last Cup win in 1967 that the Leaf's were legitimate contenders.

However, despite the futility of today's version of the team, there is one current Leaf that was looking like he was about to crack my top 5 fave Leafs of all time - Regina native Tyler Bozak. But he blew it! Here's how...

Now, don't get me wrong. I still think Bozie is arguably the most under-appreciated forward in the NHL. After all, he centered a line that, for a large part of the season was one of the top 3 forward lines in the league. Yet people still doubt his abilities as a legitimate 1st line center. He kills penalties and has been the Leaf's top faceoff guy for the last 2 years. In fact, had he not missed that ill-fated Game 7 vs. Boston in last year's playoffs it is probably very safe to assume that the Leaf's would not have blown that huge lead and lost the series, simply because he would have had a chance to win a faceoff, and even if he didn't, his defensive presence may have been just enough to get the puck cleared out of the zone that one extra time.

Tyler Bozak
Nope, Tyler is not in my bad books because of anything he does on the ice. Rather, it is due to one very disturbing off-ice decision that is without a doubt the cause of the Leaf's tanking down the stretch and losing almost every game since the Olympic break!

Between the lines of this recent article from Sportsnet, you will clearly see how Tyler Bozak cost the Leafs the season. He was given the important task of choosing the Leaf's victory song. Now, thanks to him, anytime the Leafs win a game their reward is that they get to listen to "We Can't Stop" by Miley Cyrus! I mean, that is not incentive for a hockey player to go out and win a hockey game!

Picture it. You're a professional hockey player. You've just won a huge game. You're feeling pretty good about yourself. You're big and strong. You believe this is the team that can go all the way. You're in the zone! High fives, shouting, spitting and scratching! And then...BAM!!

It's our party we can do what we want
It's our party we can say what we want
It's our party we can love who we want
We can kiss who we want
We can sing what we want
Red cups and sweaty bodies everywhere
Hands in the air like we don't care
'Cause we came to have so much fun now
Bet somebody here might get some now

Good feeling gone...

His co-DJ, defenceman Cody Franson could have and should have stopped him. He even admitted that he didn't like the song himself. However, much like Franson's performance on the ice this year, he simply let the speedy forward get by him rather than do what was obviously necessary for the good of the team and take Bozak out before he could add the song to the team playlist!   

Tyler Bozak, you're a really good hockey player. And a Saskatchewan boy. I like you a lot! But, next year, if you are still picking the songs, remember this; Hockey players want to win games. And when they win, they want Rock n' Roll! In fact, why even look outside your own province of Saskatchewan for your inspiration! Might I simply suggest "Feeling Good" by the Sheepdogs?

Feelin' Good oh like you know I should
Got the pressure beat just like you know I would
Feelin' good oh like you know I should
Got the pressure beat
Now those are victory lyrics! 

On the other hand, given the obvious negative effect Miley's music had in inspiring this team to victory, whoever next year's coach is (doubting very much that Randy Carlyle will still be around) could consider incorporating some Miley style twerking into the grueling punishment regime that the team will endure should they continue to stink up the arenas!

Whatever it takes! We want the Stanley Cup! Go Leafs Go!

Now, back to work...

1 comment:

  1. I too have been a Leaf's fan as long as I can remember. Bower in the net and Shack somewhere but not where he was supposed to be. Pierre Berton wrote a book 1967; The Last Good Year and one chapter was dedicated to the final Leaf Habs game.